The Day Before
by Mechanical Orange
Summary: Bolin had told her that he was a "nasty dude," but it never occurred to her that Tahno considers himself much, much worse. Tahnorra. Rating changed to M.
1. The Day Before

**A/N:** So, I've decided to throw my hat into the ring of Tahnorra. And since no one knows very much about Tahno, I definitely had a lot of fun in creating a little more backstory for him, so let me know what you think. I know there will be at least another chapter, with much more Tahnorra angst and possibly smut. If I do go the smut route, I'll up the rating. I think I went a very different route than most in constructing a history for Tahno so I'd really like to know if you think it's totally crazy or what. Enjoy!

* * *

People only see what they want to – the trappings of a rich man, a powerful bender and an undefeated champion. He's only twenty-three and already a widower, though it's not as if he hadn't seen that coming. Marrying at nineteen is not unheard of, but marrying a woman nearly forty years older – that _is_ strange. He thinks the fact that she was a wealthy heiress mollified people at first, then riled them up again. How dare he take advantage of a lonely old woman, they thought. But if only they knew the truth; if only they knew exactly _who_ was taking advantage of _whom_, their thoughts might change.

But maybe not.

Fifteen is far too young to run away to the city, nineteen is far too young to get married and twenty-three is far too young to lose everything that made you feel something other than shame and regret.

He enters the estate from a side gate; it's the only gate his key will open. The entire mansion, all fifty thousand square feet of it, is dark. He likes it that way, a reminder of all that empty space that doesn't really belong to him. He feels like a squatter, lives like one, even though the law says it's his. But this place isn't home; it never was. He figures if his dear late wife hadn't died so suddenly, she would've tired of him eventually and sent him on his way with an appropriate amount of money. But her death occurred before that could happen, and so the estate fell to him. The closest relative.

He enters the west wing and flips on a light. This huge mansion is entirely his, and yet he sleeps, eats and lives in only one room. It's a mess, clothes and newspaper everywhere. His hotplate is in the corner, but it's mostly unused. One wall holds his entire life – all his accomplishments – plated and framed, and hung in an orderly pattern. They unfold chronologically, right to left, like a picture book of his life. First are his amateur wins with a firebender named Kumi and an earthbender named Yin. They're only in the first few pictures, then Shaozu and Ming show up. They go pro as the White Falls Wolfbats, and win… and win… and win. They won tonight too. But Tahno never wants to see another picture of the Wolfbats again.

He lunges for the wall, tearing down each and every picture frame. The glass shatters at his feet and rip the newspaper clippings within. It all happens so fast – his life erased in seconds. He stares at the broken glass and splintered wood, at all the paper that outlined everything good about his life, the only evidence he could point to and say, "Look what I did; look what I am. I'm worth something and everyone knows it."

He can't stop the tears as they fall, and what does it matter? There's no one else here to see them. He tries so hard that night; he tries everything he can think of. But the water he keeps in the jugs in the corner of his room won't come to him. He can't even produce one ripple in the glassy surface. It remains stagnant, staid, dead.

He tries to sleep, but he only sees images of Amon towering over him when he closes his eyes.

As soon as dawn breaks he leaves the estate. He goes straight to his healer. And then another, and another, and another. It hurts more each time they say sorry, but there's nothing they can do.

He's summoned to the police station; he goes because he has nothing else to do. He sees Ming and Shaozu as they're leaving. They acknowledge each other with a nod, but nothing more. What's the point? They look as awful as he feels, and judging by the way they look at him he guesses he must look even worse. His hair, his eyes, his clothes – they haven't been this unkempt since he was living on the streets of Republic City all those years ago. He remembers those days, how he would've given anything to be rich, famous, or at least off the streets with food in his stomach. And now, he thinks, he would give anything to be back there – fifteen years old and scared stupid, but still a waterbender.

He waits on a bench to be called in for questioning. People pass him by, some giving him a double take, whispering behind their hands, but none stop to talk to him. He sneers even in his self-pity. If it wasn't clear before, then it's definitely clear now. People only wanted him for one thing, and he doesn't have it anymore. Is there even a person in this city who cares about _him_? Not the pro-bender, not the playboy and not the wealthy widower, but Tahno. Just Tahno of the – well, it doesn't matter where. People never want to look too deep into their fantasies anyway. They shouldn't, unless they want to suffer the heartbreaking disillusionment that comes with discovering your hero, savior, sexual fantasy is nothing more than a pack of lies and empty promises. Tahno tries desperately to tamp down all those hated memories of his late wife and her demands and her promises and her temper. He was put down for so long that he learned how to effectively put down others – in the ring, and off. It worked so well that he had people (like that half-wit Bolin) running scared, and the other half willingly falling in behind him. But he was secretly thrilled that night at the noodle shop when the Avatar had done neither; it was so refreshing. After that night he had wanted to see her again outside the ring, and without the ferret brothers. He had every intention of conducting some _private lessons_ with her, but now…

It's pointless.

He hears footsteps nearby and catches her blue clothes in the corner of his eye. Of course she would be here, being the Avatar and all. He doesn't know what to say to her; he doesn't even know if he wants to say anything to her, but –

"Hey Korra," the words are out of his mouth before he can stop them. Even to his ears, his voice sounds pathetic.

"Tahno?" She sits down next to him, and he looks away. He's not sure what he's feeling. Shame? Resentment? Regret? "Listen, I know we're not exactly best friends, but I'm sorry Amon took your bending."

He doesn't want to talk about it, but he can't help himself. "I've been to the best healers in the city. Whatever Amon did to me, it's permanent." He hates the way his voice cracks. And so, to save face he adds, "You gotta get him for me," with as much conviction as he can muster. It's the best he can do and he's glad at Tenzin and Chief Bei Fong's interruption. He finds it in himself to draw up the last dregs of nonchalant confidence and parts with a smarmy, "See you around, _uh_vatar."

He knows it doesn't sound like it, but it's the most sincere thing he's said in a very, very long time.

* * *

The interrogation is… painful. He goes through his day, from waking up with some floozy he picked up the night before, to training, to bribing the refs, then back to training, to messing around with some other floozy, to spying on the Fire Ferrets (particularly the Avatar) and finally to the championship match, every round, every cheap shot and obvious foul, every hit the Avatar landed on him, the final round, the win and the glory, and then…

He says all he remembers is Amon's thumb on his forehead, the pressure on his skull, the strange ensuing emptiness, and utter helplessness when the water he fell into refused to do what he told it.

When it's all said and done, he decides he needs a drink. And another, and another. He drinks fire whisky straight from the bottle, and he can't remember, but he's pretty sure it's his second. Or third. Although he's hidden himself in a corner of the bar, he can still catch people glancing at him and whispering. He sneers as he imagines what they're saying about him.

_That's Tahno, the pro-bender. Look at him now, just a useless drunk. Maybe he can go back to what he used to do, before the Wolfbats, back when he was a _whore_._

Tahno slams his bottle onto the table. He's had enough of these people and their whispers, though his head is so hazy he can no longer tell if their conversations are real or imagined. It doesn't matter. He stands – barely maintaining his balance – takes his half-empty bottle and leaves. He gets about half a block away before he feels something churning in the pit of his stomach. He vomits in the alley, and takes another swig of whisky to wash the taste out. And he's so tired now, this alley seems a good a place as any to lie down, so he does. In a twisted way, this feels like home to him; it reminds him of those first months on the streets with cardboard mattresses and newspaper blankets. It's so familiar, and he curls up, ready for the streets to embrace him once again.

"Tahno?"

He doesn't think he'll ever be too drunk not to recognize that voice.

"Hello, _uh_vatar."

"Tahno what are you – are you okay?"

He scoffs. "I don't know, _uh_vatar, do I look okay?"

"Where do you live? I'll take you home," she says as she peers down at him with her bright blue eyes.

"I am home," he mumbles.

"You live in the alley?" The Avatar asks. For some reason it's the incredulity in her voice that sets him off.

"And what if I did?" he asks. "What would you do then?"

"Tahno, I – "

"Save it," he says, taking another drink from his bottle. "It doesn't matter." He staggers to his feet, and brushes past her. Forget the alley, and the Avatar. He'll make it back on his own accord. Only, she seems to be following him.

"Bolin told me you lived in a mansion," she admits sheepishly to his back.

"Is that why you're here?" he asks scornfully. "You want to see if it's true?"

"I just… I just didn't know pro-bending paid so well," she says.

"It doesn't." He stumbles over something in the street, definitely not his own foot, and he feels the Avatar's hands on his arm. He quickly shakes them off and keeps walking. They turn a corner and there it is – White Falls Estates. He can hear the Avatar gasp quietly behind him. He almost snickers, but doesn't want to give her the satisfaction of acknowledging her presence. And he feels like if he opens his mouth again the result might be more vomit than words. He staggers to the side gate and takes out the key.

He manages to open it before the world goes black.


	2. Standing in the Rain

**A/N**: Thank you everyone for your reviews! I really appreciate your feedback and insight, so keep it up! I've decided I want to write this story all from Tahno's perspective, since most of the fics I've read have centered on Korra's POV or it switches between the two. As I write I am realizing this is a very, very difficult thing. Let me know if it's working for you or not.

Also, I'm looking for a beta. I need someone who not just knows grammar and punctuation, but who will be a critical reader and keep an eye out for pacing issues, sentence flow problems and characterization. PM me if you're interested.

And now, on to chapter 2!

* * *

He's surrounded by thick dark water; it's crushing him and he keeps falling into its depth. He can't breathe so he moves his arms, but the water still presses against him. It fills his mouth, his lungs; this must be what drowning is like. Tahno twists and turns and tries to right himself, to find the surface and swim, but it's futile. He opens his mouth, desperate for air, and inhales…

He wakes up, coughing and panting and covered in sweat. It was just a dream. A nightmare. He's at home, in his bed, and the water is as immovable as ever. It takes a moment, but right after he opens his eyes, and right before the splitting headache of a hangover arrives, he almost remembers a pair of blue eyes and the feel of smooth, dark skin brushing against him. But then it's gone and he half-crawls to the bathroom in order to puke out whatever still might be sloshing in his stomach. The cold tiles feel nice against his skin and he struggles to remove his shirt, eager to feel the cool porcelain collide with as much of his body as it can. He lies there trying to pretend the way he's feeling – the pain of a hangover, coupled with the haziness of one still drunk from the day before – is a result of a party in the Wolfbats honor, celebrating their latest victory.

Only, he was never very good at pretending.

He closes his eyes, drifting back to sleep, unconsciousness, whatever will make him forget for a little while longer, however –

He's suddenly doused with ice cold water, and he bolts upright ready to bend at his assailant, but then he remembers…

"Tahno, you're awake!" Blue eyes appear in front of him and he blinks once, twice, just to make sure he's not having another dream.

"Korra?" he asks, "What are you doing here?"

"You… you don't remember?"

"Remember what?"

"Last night. We came back here and…"

_Oh shit,_ he thinks. _Please don't tell me we did and I don't remember._

"I told you to go to sleep and that I'd check on you in the morning." She looks at his blank face. "You really don't remember? You told me you'd be fine and to get the hell out."

Tahno sinks back down onto the tile. _Oh, thank the spirits it wasn't that._ He has no recollection of last night, just his pathetic words to the avatar, the humiliation of the police interrogation, and a bottle full of amber liquid.

"So then get the hell out," he groans.

"But I brought you breakfast." She produces a bag from behind her back. "Seaweed soup."

It's all Tahno can do to make it to the toilet before he starts dry heaving.

"T-Tahno?"

"Just leave," he ekes out in between heaves.

"But I –"

"Go!" he yells. His voice is scratchy and broken, not at all like she's used to hearing it. It scares her into compliance.

He doesn't watch her go; he keeps his head down, staring at the tile. Once he hears the door shut he gets shakily to his feet and sees it – the soup she left behind.

Tahno flushes it down the toilet.

* * *

Something like a day passes, maybe more than one, and it's not like he's sick of seeing the four walls of his room, exactly; most of the time he's just too drunk to notice them. Still, when he's good and half-sober, he decides to take a walk, and it's _not_ because he's drunk all of his booze.

He doesn't know what time it is, only that it's night. And the very minute he steps outside it begins raining.

All those tiny raindrops that fall around him are just that – raindrops. Not weapons or tool or toys, just raindrops. Tahno half-heartedly lifts his fingers and tries not to scream when nothing happens. He can't be surrounded like this, taunted and ridiculed by the only thing that used to bring him comfort. Since that night at the arena, was it three days ago? Four? But since that night, he's stayed away from water as much as he could. Every time he comes in contact with it, or forces himself to drink it in between bottles of cheap liquor, he shudders and sighs and tries to pretend it doesn't bother him when he feels absolutely nothing.

But he's already outside and he's hungry and he will not let a little rain break him. It's pretty much force of habit that he ends up at the noodle shop and sits in the back just like he used to. He's alone, though. No teammates or tittering girls hanging off his arms. It's fine, he tells himself. He's just going to eat and leave and then wake up tomorrow with no memory of it.

A bowl of noodles appears on the table in front of him and he digs in, vehemently ignoring the pictures of himself on the wall behind him.

He's only about halfway through his dinner when he hears it – the unmistakable laugh of the Avatar. He looks up and spots her; she's sitting at the same table she did on the night they first met. She's with that earthbender too and Tahno wonders if they're dating. Bolin doesn't seem her type, but what does he know? It looks like they're having a good time

The Avatar slurps down her noodles in between chuckles, and then she stops smiling altogether. She catches Tahno's eye and it's not like that first night at all. Whereas before she was curious, undaunted; now she is pitying and timid. He watches her with disdain as she says something to Bolin. The earthbender quickly swivels in his seat to stare at Tahno, then quickly turns around again when he sees the ex-waterbender staring daggers right at him. Korra stands and Tahno's focus shifts to her; he grimaces when he sees her approaching.

"Hi, Tahno," she says carefully, as if she were approaching a wild hogmonkey.

"Avatar," he responds with what he hopes is an even, nonchalant tone.

"How are you?" she asks. Her voice is so kind, and so caring; it pisses Tahno off.

"I'm just fine, _uh_vatar."

"Good," she says brightly. "Mind if Bolin and I join you?" She smiles at him. He hates it.

"I was just leaving actually," he says.

Korra glances at his half-eaten bowl. "Really?"

"Yes, really," he tells her tersely, standing up and flipping a few coins onto the table. "Maybe some other time." He brushes past her and heads to the door. Bolin pointedly looks away as Tahno walks by his table; some things never change.

The rain has stopped by the time Tahno makes it out of the restaurant. It's a little foggy, and the streets are damp, but Tahno's glad to no longer feel the pressure of a thousand tiny water drops hitting his skin. After a few blocks he hears footsteps behind him, and he already knows who it is before he even turns around.

"Korra," he says. The footsteps stop abruptly. "I don't need you to follow me home. I'm not drunk." _Much._ "Unless…" His voice trails off, an unasked question hanging between them. But as always, the Avatar is a little slow on the uptake.

"Unless what?" she asks.

He turns to look at her, smirk firmly in place. "Unless you want to take me up on that offer?"

"What offer?"

"You remember," he grins. "The one for private lessons?"

Korra's blank for a moment, and then she remembers. "As if," she scoffs.

And now that they're back to this Tahno feels so much better. It's just like how things used to be – Tahno incorrigible, the Avatar indignant.

"You shouldn't be so quick to decline," Tahno says. "There are lots of things I can teach you." He slinks closer to her and his heart quickens – the thrill of intimidation. "Things your boyfriend can't."

"My boyfriend?" she asks.

"The earthbender from your team," he says. "What's his name?" He pretends to think for a moment. "Bolin?"

"He's not my boyfriend," Korra tells him. "He's just a friend."

"Oh?" Tahno raises his eyebrow. "Maybe you should tell him that."

"He knows," she says. "I told him that after –" She stops herself, looking alarmed.

"After what, _uh_vatar?"

"Nothing," she replies sharply. "Just go home, Tahno."

He smirks again, so unbelievably happy to have riled her up. "Good night, _uh_vatar." He turns on his heel and starts walking home.

He barely hears it when she mutters, "Good night, Tahno," behind him.


	3. In Days Gone By

**A/N**: Here's chapter three! I hope you enjoy it, and don't forget to leave a review! I really appreciate all of your input and encouragement. I know my chapters are on the shorter side, but that's allowing me to update more quickly. If you'd rather have longer chapter and less frequent updates let me know! Some people prefer longer chapters, and I don't really blame them.

**Bonus note**: This fic is named after a song by a Korean band called Nell. I HIGHLY recommend you watch the music video for The Day Before. It's powerful and beautiful and may even make you cry.

* * *

Several things haunt his sleep that night, and it's not all Amon and crushing blue water. There's Amon, sure, but it's surrounded by images of his late wife – the way she used to push him, use him, strip him of everything that made him Tahno. He was so, _so_ dependent on her, and he kept digging deeper into the hole because he thought if he dug far enough, he'd fall out the other side. He realizes now that if he had ever sunk that low, he would've had no energy to climb out again. Most of the time he wishes he had never met her, but in order to wish for that he has to pretend like it's not all his fault. There's more than a little truth to the gossip about him and the White Falls heiress – that he's a whore, a gold-digger. _An_ _opportunist_. There used to be a time when he would've denied it. And that would've made him a liar.

There are so very many things that he wished he had known then, but it's too late to change anything. When he was younger, (almost) innocent, and extremely naïve, this woman had come to him and offered him everything he thought he could ever want. He just had to give up everything he already had. If you're willing to give up your dignity, your identity, for a little money and luxury, then maybe you deserve to be treated like some second class sex slave. And if you lie and cheat and scheme in order to get a fraction of that dignity back, maybe you deserve to lose the one thing that made you happy for all those miserable years. Bending is what had kept him sane and alive while suffering through the old woman's whims and demands. When she pushed him around, made him give in to her and please her and bend over backwards for her, he made her promise him one thing: the Wolfbats.

So now that not even the Wolfbats remain, Tahno has no choice but to shut his eyes and remember what he used to have. He tries to summon the way he felt while taking down his opponents, and winning championships, but the memory that keeps playing in his head is the one of the Avatar getting the best of him in the ring.

It's no accident that he finds himself at Narook's noodle shop the next night. He's hungry; he likes noodles, and so does the Avatar, apparently. He's at his usual table, but hers is empty. He eats his food slowly, hoping she'll appear. She doesn't, and Tahno goes home with a large bottle attached to one hand.

The next night he returns and waits for hours, and there's no Avatar either.

The third night he tells himself it's the last time he's doing this, waiting around for _her_ to show up. But he knows he's lying because it's not like he's got anything better to do anyway. He's almost done with his dinner when he hears her voice. He tries not to be obvious, but he can't help but crane his neck to catch her standing by the counter. She doesn't acknowledge him, but as soon as she gets her food she heads straight to his table. Tahno barely has time to compose himself before she sits down in front of him.

"You think you're so great," Korra says, not bothering with a greeting.

That was not what he was expecting. "What?"

"I'm not the one who had to cheat in the championship match, so I doubt anything you could teach me would be worthwhile," she clarifies. _Is this what she's been thinking about for the past two days?_

Tahno very nearly laughs out loud. "Bending wasn't exactly what I had in mind."

Korra huffs indignantly. "Bolin told me you were a nasty dude."

"Did he now?" Tahno asks. He knows he could be treading dangerous ground; there's a lot of things in his past he wishes people didn't know about, and he's pretty sure the earthbender and his brother know most of them. "Did he say why?"

"He doesn't have to," Korra replies. "I could tell when I first met you, and then you proved it in the arena."

He leans closer, and decides to let loose all of his charm, because she's the Avatar and the only one who'll look at him anymore. "Would it flatter you to know that I cheated because of you?"

"What?"

"You're a magnificent bender, Korra." He smirks, smug at the way his words have left her rattled, though she's doing her best not to show it. _Just like old times._ "Can you blame me for taking out a little insurance?"

"Is that what you call it?"

He shrugs. "It worked, didn't it?" He pauses, realizes. "A little too well." He tries to be casual about it, like it doesn't bother him anymore, but how can it not?

Korra looks suddenly somber and says, in a quiet and understanding tone, "Tahno, I'm so sorry. I really am." She reaches for his hand and it shocks both of them, but Tahno recovers and pulls away.

"It's fine," he replies tersely. "It's better this way, isn't it?" Tahno leans back in his chair, as if to get as far as possible from the Avatar's hand. "We couldn't have the Avatar lose her bending, could we? And those ferrets hanging on to your coattails? What would become of them?"

_Ah, there it is._ Indignity and defiance wind their way onto the Avatar's face and Tahno's relieved to have talked his way out of another uncomfortable moment yet again. Korra opens her mouth to respond, but Tahno beats her to it.

"Don't worry, Avatar Korra," he says, his smirk creeping back onto his face. "Anyone would agree, better me than you." He stands up smoothly, leaves some cash on the table, and walks out, leaving a stunned Avatar in his wake.

He thinks he's in the clear for tonight, and that he won't need to come back looking for her again since it seems he's torpedoed any chance of the both of them having a civil conversation. Now that he's effectively dismissed her and her empathy (sympathy, more like) he won't have to make up some flimsy excuse as to why he's been frequenting Narook's so often now that he's a terminal loser. It's weird though, because as he's walking away he feels a strange niggling in the back of his head, like maybe he's not altogether done with this conversation, like maybe he has a lot more to say.

"Tahno, wait!"

And the Avatar just bounds up to him, looking as fierce and determined as ever, which, frankly, scares the shit out of him.

"I'm tired of chasing after you every time I try to talk to you," she says.

"Well, it's not like you don't know where to find me," he replies.

"That's not the point." She huffs and crosses her arms. "Tahno, listen. I – "

"You're sorry, I know," he says. "You don't have to keep apologizing. We both know I brought this on myself."

"Tahno – "

"Good night, Avatar Korra."

She grabs his arm, "Tahno, stop." Her grip is like a vice, and honestly, he shouldn't have been surprised. "You didn't bring this on yourself. Even if you cheated you didn't deserve what Amon did to you."

Tahno sighs. "Let go of me, Korra."

"No," she replies, almost petulantly. "Not until you admit it wasn't your fault."

"Neither of your teammates ever told you about me, did they?" he asks, throwing the Avatar for a loop.

"N-no, why – " It's plain on her face that she never even thought to ask. _See what you are to them, Tahno?_ Barely warranting a footnote in the Avatar's life.

"Maybe when they do you'll change your mind about me." He wrenches his arm from her grip and walks home to his magnificent, empty castle.

_That ended it, right? _ He wonders as he pours himself a glass of bourbon. At least he's using glasses now. There are so many despicable, ugly things in his past that when the brothers list them all (as they're sure to do) the Avatar will have no choice but to turn away from him in disgust. It's most people's reaction when they discover what his life is like, and a testament to how low the company he keeps really is. The Avatar will never bother him again and he's so inexplicably glad of that fact, that he pours himself another shot. And one more. And one after that.

How do the bottles empty so quickly? And why is he dreaming with his eyes open? Because it surely can't be her standing in front of him, blue eyes and brown hair and the smell of the sea.

"Korra," he mumbles. A hand reaches out to touch the side of his face. "Korra, I'm sorry," he whispers. "But I hate the way you look at me."


	4. Go

**A/N:** Okay so I'm officially upping the rating to M because things are kind of getting really dark and smutty up in here. As always, I'm delighted to hear what you think.

Notes continued at the bottom.

* * *

It's morning and Tahno's hungover again and the sunlight coming in through the cracks in his curtains is just as bright and as miserable as ever. Tahno is slumped against his bedroom wall, and how pathetic is it that he can never seem to make back into his bed anymore? There used to be a time when he hardly ever got out of bed, when he was just a pretty face who charged by the hour.

He gets to his feet, weak and unsteadily, and trudges through the mess in his bedroom. His bathroom is hardly much cleaner, the white tiles dirty with scum and sweat and vomit. The light switches on and Tahno goes to the bath, which has hardly been used since _that night_. He feels too sick to care, though; his ban on water is nearly forgotten as he turns on the taps, both hot and cold, until water rushes out of the faucet. His clothes drop to the floor – first his jacket, followed by his shirt, then pants and underwear. The tub is full by the time he's done and he sinks into the water. It's both too cold and too hot for him, but Tahno tells himself not to worry about it because he's numb to water in any case.

He's still half-drunk from last night, but the bath sobers him up a little. _It's funny,_ he thinks,_ that this is how the bitch died._ Drowning in a bathtub because she was too drunk to sit up? That would never happen to him, not to a waterbender. And then he starts chuckling, softly at first, then louder and louder, hysterical at the irony of it all.

Because he's not a waterbender anymore, is he?

His laughs turn to gurgles as he slowly sinks below the water until he's laying flat along the bottom, knees bent, eyes and mouth open, staring at the cracked ceiling. _Maybe that bitch knew what she was doing after all._ He's always liked being surrounded by his element, cradled by the waves and carried out to sea. As he closes his eyes, he wonders if he couldn't just melt into it, become a part of it, and merge into the ocean's tides. It feels as if he's almost there; it's dark and cool and the way the water winds its way into his mouth and nose feels like its welcoming him home. So close…

And then his back hits something hard and he's cold all over – a coughing, shivering mess. Water shoots from his mouth without warning and he practically chokes on it, and suddenly two hands grip his shoulders and shake him violently.

His eyes shoot open and stare into another set, this pair vividly blue and all at once scared, shocked, angry.

"What the hell are you doing?" The eyes have a mouth too, it seems, and Tahno knows – because he would know that voice anywhere – that the Avatar has come to him once again.

He wants to answer her coolly, play it off and tell her to get lost, but he's still gasping and coughing, lungs burning as all the water is expelled and replaced by musty air.

"Tahno?" she asks, "are you okay?"

He desperately tries to push her away, but his arms won't respond and his voice won't work and then the Avatar wraps her arms around him. His head rests on her shoulder as her hands reach around his back and begin rubbing it soothingly. Despite himself, he finds it comforting and he finally stops coughing.

"Is that better?" Korra asks softly, her voice right next to his ear.

"K-Korra," he croaks. "Why are you always here?" He wills his arms to move, to touch her, and his fingers brush her clothing. "I must be imagining it."

She pulls away from him slightly, just enough to look into his eyes. "You're not," she says. "I'm here."

Tahno's hands finally obey him and he reaches up, fingers drifting up her back and coming to rest behind her neck. "You shouldn't have come," he says. "I didn't want you to."

She stares at him, right into his icy blue eyes, as if she were calling him a liar. They both know he is one. "Why not?"

His fingers grip her neck tighter, pulling her closer, and he says, "Korra…" He shudders. "I'm cold."

She blinks, then remembers, and springs out of his grip in order to search for a towel. "Oh! I'm so sorry, Tahno!"

She hands him a red towel from the cabinet, trying (and failing) not to look at him. Tahno smirks. "Like what you see?"

Korra blushes scarlet as he stands up, his towel covering everything except that one crucial area. She turns away, clearing her throat. "I'll be outside," she says.

"Suit yourself."

Alone in the bathroom, Tahno spares a glance at the tub. It's still full, the water suspiciously calm and unassuming… inviting, almost. He walks over to it, slowly, carefully, and skims his fingers along the surface. The water's freezing cold now, and Tahno reaches in up to his elbow and pulls the drain plug. He watches as the water slowly drains, swirling around the hole in the bottom and it's a lot like how he feels – slowly dissipating, spinning in circles before disappearing completely.

"Tahno?" The Avatar's voice comes from behind the door, and Tahno leaves the bath, wraps the towel around his waist and opens the door.

"Yes?"

She stares at him, trying not to make it obvious, but there's nothing for it. She's a woman; he's a man, and Tahno knows that's usually how nature works. And even when it doesn't, he still manages to turn a few heads.

"You were taking a long time," she says. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

Tahno looks down at her, and he can't help but notice the front of her shirt is wet from where she hugged him; he can see the outline of her nipples underneath her clothes.

"I'm fine," he says, eyes lingering on her chest. "And you? Aren't you cold?"

"W-what?" And her eyes drop to where he's looking and she swiftly covers herself. "Stop that."

"You were looking at me earlier," he reminds her with a grin. "Can't I do the same to you?"

"No," she says, turning away. He follows her into his bedroom, and he notices that she has begun to clear away the mess scattered about his room into a pile. She starts picking up the empty bottles on his bed and putting them in the corner.

"Why not?" he asks. "You've already seen me naked, why can't I see you?"

She rounds on him, the expression on her face both worried and frightened. "Stop this!" she cries. "This isn't funny! You were trying to drown yourself, for spirits' sake!"

"What does it matter to you?" he yells. "I told you last night to leave me alone, so stop – "

"Last night?"

"Yes, Avatar, last night when you followed me home from Narook's," he sneers.

"Tahno," she says, and she's obviously upset but Tahno can't figure out why. He just wants her to get out of here because it kills him that she thinks he needs looking after like this, that she thought was going to kill himself (was he?) and that he can't go for one goddamn day without the precious Avatar taking pity on him. "Tahno," she repeats softly, bringing her hand to his face. "That was three days ago. Don't you remember?"

"Three days?" he asks, as if surely the Avatar must be joking. "No, last night," he says firmly. "After leaving Narook you followed me back here and I told you – " But the look on her face says he didn't tell her anything, and Tahno feels cold all over.

"I haven't been here since the day after Amon took your bending," she says quietly, evenly.

And that just can't be because he _swears_ she was here last night, and that he hasn't lost three days of his life to alcohol induced oblivion. "No," he says. "You're wrong. You're lying."

"Tahno, I'm not," she replies. She looks up at him with those bright blue eyes and they're pleading with him to believe her, to come to his senses. He inches closer to her, until she's backed against his bed, and he's towering over her by at least a whole head. She doesn't blink though, and Tahno always gives her credit for that – she never backs down from a fight. "Please believe me."

He says nothing and keeps staring at her, but his gaze has lost all of its strength and intensity. It's like he's staring through her, and he can't seem to focus because…

Because if he did then he'd remember why he was drinking in the first place.

"I know it must be hard after Amon took your bending," she starts, and Tahno doesn't let her finish.

"You don't know anything, Korra," he snarls. He grabs her by the shoulders; his fingers press into her flesh. He pulls her close to him, and whispers harshly in her ear, "Don't come here again. I'll make you regret it."

And he's a fool to think she would've walked away from that.

Her eyes harden and she throws him a smirk that would rival one of his on the best of days. "I'd like to see you try, pretty boy."

He pushes her down and she lands with a thump onto his bed. Before she has time to react, he's on top of her, straddling her hips. He gives her a sly smile. "Your shirt's still wet, _Uh_vatar, let me help you." He grabs the hem of her shirt and pulls upward, lifting it over her head and throwing it on the floor. "Isn't that better?" She's not wearing any undergarments and Tahno can feel himself getting hard, staring at the way her breasts bounce free of her shirt, and the way her nipples are already hardened into tiny points. He knows he shouldn't go any further; he was just trying to prove his point, but he hadn't expected to see her chest completely bared to him and _spirits, how long has it been?_

Korra's staring up at him, silent and curious, waiting for his next move. Her breasts rise as she inhales and after a long moment, she smiles at him. She barely mouths the word, but Tahno hears it, sees it, understands. "Yes."

_Fuck it._

He bends over her and gives her a brutal kiss. He pushes his tongue inside her mouth, and then uses his teeth, biting her bottom lip hard enough to nearly draw blood, but she doesn't make a sound. He kisses down her neck, biting at her pulse and leaving a red, angry mark there. His hands find their way to her breasts and he kneads them, then pinches the nipples hard. Korra finally moans.

Tahno begins sucking on her right nipple, and bites it too, pulling it with his teeth in order to leave another mark.

"T-Tahno," she sighs, and he bites harder. His erection grows and he digs it into her, rocking his hips back and forth as he sighs with pleasure. He feels her hands on his chest, her nails digging into his skin. They scratch and claw at his pale flesh, working their way down to where his towel is still barely wrapped around him. One second of hesitation and – she pulls. The towel falls away and he's completely naked once again. He presses insistently against her core; desperately he tries to remove her pants, but she stops him and shakes her head. Instead she takes him by the hips and violently pulls him against her.

"Fuck," he cries, and begins moving against her in a quick and steady rhythm. She starts moaning again and he can feel how wet she is through her clothes. He takes her left breast in his mouth this time, sucking and biting at the nipple, and Korra's moans grow louder. He slides two of his fingers into her mouth and she sucks on them greedily while clawing at his back.

Korra writhes underneath him and he slams against her; he can feel himself getting close. He kisses up her neck, nipping and sucking, making sure to leave as many marks as he can. He wants her to remember this, all the pleasure and all the pain. He pops his fingers out of her mouth and uses them to rub one of her nipples, leaving it wet and glistening and red with abuse.

His orgasm builds inside him and Tahno kisses her one last time before saying, "Fuck, Korra, I'm going to cum." One more thrust, and then another, and then he is cumming all over the Avatar's stomach; she runs her hands up and down his back, just like she did after the bath. He collapses beside her, breathing hard.

"Tahno," she whines. "Help me." She's rubbing herself furiously and Tahno realizes the pressure she must be feeling has to be unbearable.

Tahno rolls onto his side, hovering over her. He snakes his arm into her pants and she's thoroughly soaked. He finds her bud underneath her underwraps and presses down sharply until Korra cries out. He smirks at the intensity of her reaction – once a whore, always a whore. He keeps moving his fingers, faster and faster; the Avatar moans and writhes and grips the blanket below her.

"Please, don't stop." she cries. Tahno can feel her body start to seize up and one of her hands finds his way into his hair. And suddenly she cries out, and the hand in Tahno's hair tightens almost painfully. She's _so_ wet, but Tahno keeps stroking until all of her cries have died down and her body is completely still.

He removes his hand and picks up the nearby towel. Gently, he wipes away the cum from Korra's stomach as she trembles in her post-coital haze.

They lie next to each other in total silence, listening to the other's breathing. It lasts minutes, maybe even hours and Tahno can feel himself drifting into what must be the only peaceful sleep he's had in weeks. Just as he's closing his eyes he feels the Avatar stir next to him.

"I have to go," she says quietly. "They're expecting me at the Air Temple."

Tahno says nothing, but stares at her as she rises and dresses herself. She gives him one last glance before heading to the door.

"I'll see you later," she says. And then she's gone.

And after the door clicks shut and he can no longer hear her footsteps, he tells her, "I told you you'd regret it."

* * *

**A/N Cont: **I think there's a big difficulty in writing Tahno since we know so little about him, how do we know if we're keeping him in character? Personally, as probably exhibited in this chapter, I think Tahno's one of those people who has to hit rock bottom before he can get better. Please let me know what you think with a review!


	5. Slip Away

He hasn't been drinking. Not as much, anyway. He's been marking the days that go by so he won't wake up to any more surprises, like three missing days. He's partly ashamed though, at his secret desire to lose weeks, months maybe, just to escape the unnatural emptiness he feels inside.

He starts going outside more often, like before the… event. Back then he was hardly ever home, choosing to spend his nights between the sheets of someone else's bed rather than here in this… mausoleum.

His timing sucks though, and it's just his luck he runs into the ferret brothers as they leave Narook's. he doesn't plan on saying anything, but when he sees the pitying, disdainful looks they give him he can't help it. "Fire weasels," he sneers.

"It's ferrets," the earthbender says. Tahno ignores him.

"Where's your better third?" Tahno asks, hoping it comes off as offhanded instead of genuinely curious.

"You mean Korra?" the earthbender, again. _Bolin._

"Why do you care?" the firebender asks. _Mako._

Tahno shrugs. "Do you go out without her often?" He smiles deviously. "I wonder what she gets up to when you're away?"

"She's busy," Bolin pipes up. "Doing Avatar stuff."

"Are you sure about that?" Tahno asks. "She could be doing anything… or anyone."

Tahno glimpses the dumbfounded look on Bolin's face before Mako grabs him by the collar and throws him against the wall.

"Don't talk that way about her," he snarls.

Tahno pries the firebender's hands off his clothes, and is somewhat relieved to find that though his bending is gone, his physical strength remains.

"Oh, Mako," Tahno sighs. "I don't know what I can't believe more – that you haven't started something with our precious Avatar, or that you've finally taken my advice."

"What advice?" Bolin chimes from the sidelines. He goes ignored.

"Don't you remember?" Tahno smirks. "After all I tried to teach you – you finally got a sponsor." Mako's face contorts with anger and disgust, but it's reassuring to Tahno. That's how Mako usually looks at him. "I have to congratulate you though; Miss Sato is a lovely girl."

"Shut up, Tahno," Mako growls, pushing him back against the wall.

But Tahno presses on. "Was it a difficult choice? I mean, the Avatar is quite beautiful, not to mention powerful. But, then again, Miss Sato does have a sizable fortune. I know who I would've picked."

"Mako, what is he talking about?" Bolin asks, his eyes darting back and forth between his brother and the former waterbender.

Mako, however, ignores his brother and pulls Tahno close to him. "I told you marrying that woman was a bad idea," he mutters. "And now you're a miserable piece of shit so don't take it out on me." Tahno glares at him. "Stay away from me, my brother and Korra."

"Or what?" Tahno asks defiantly.

Mako's grip tightens on Tahno's shirt. "You think I don't know?" the firebender murmurs. "You think I don't know where she got those bruises on her neck? Or where she goes at night?"

"Jealous, ferret?"

"Not even a little," Mako smirks. "She feels sorry for you; that's all. So don't act like it's anything more because it's fucking pathetic. I told her all about you, and your oh-so great advice."

Mako shoves him down and turns away, motioning for his brother to follow.

"What was that about, Mako?" he asks, as they turn the corner.

Tahno can barely hear the firebender's reply. "Nothing, Bolin. It was nothing."

Tahno sits against the wall for a good twenty minutes, wondering when the last time he lost to that insufferable firebender was. True, it had been a few years since they had said more than a word or two to each other, but until now Tahno had always had the last word.

He had once counted Mako as a friend, but that was a long, long time ago. Before whoring and probending and a doomed marriage of convenience. It chafes to think Mako was right about it, about _her_. The firebender had always been a stick in the mud, but they still shared some good times. Those times were long past now, and though he doesn't like to admit it, it hurts Tahno to see Mako and remember the friendship they used to have.

* * *

Tahno trudges home, no longer hungry for Narook's or aching for fresh air. He wants amber liquid and dilapidated grandeur – the things that remind him exactly how far he's fallen. Only when he reaches the side gate to the mansion he discovers two things: the latch is broken, and the Avatar is waiting for him. She gives him a shy smile when she sees him approach.

"Hi," she says.

You never really know what hits you until it's too late—that could easily sum up Tahno's life experience, and the reason he's so driven to fight in the ring. It's all about expecting the next move, evading it, countering it, conquering it. But despite all that training, he's completely taken off guard when the Avatar shows up on his doorstep.

"I'm sorry," she says, pushing past him into his home. "For taking advantage of you yesterday."

Tahno is stunned and silent for a moment. But then, "_You_ took advantage of _me_?"

"I'm so sorry," she repeats. "I shouldn't have, but I was…" she trails off and looks down.

"You were what?"

"I was…" she mumbles something and refuses to meet his eyes.

"Fuck, Korra," he says, "just spit it out."

She bites her lip and her cheeks flush. "I'm just… I'm really sorry." She keeps her eyes focused on the floor as she continues. "It wasn't right, but you were just so…"

And then Tahno realizes; it's so obvious. He must've looked like the sad, drowned wolfbat he was and she took pity on him, just like Mako said. She let him in because she felt sorry, because she was the Avatar—all hope and empathy and compassion or whatever the fuck it was. _Well_, he sneers, _at least she got off too_.

"Save it, Avatar," he snaps. "It's over. You don't have to come here again."

She finally looks up from her shoes, and the expression on her face isn't what he is expecting. He thinks he'll see relief, nonchalance, or gratefulness. Instead there is only confusion, pain, hurt and then… hardness, like when she is in the ring. It's determination… defiance.

"I'm just… out of my element," she says quietly.

"You, _Uh_vatar? You have four to choose from, after all."

"Shut up, Tahno. I'm just trying to explain! What we did the other night, well, I shouldn't have."

"Why? Is it because of those little fire ferrets that follow you around?" He smirks at her. "No, it's just the one ferret, isn't it? The firebender."

She looks up at him sharply, guiltily. She's been caught.

"You like him, uhvatar? Does he make you feel warm inside? When he looks at you do you shake? When he touches you do you tremble?" He knows he's pushing when he shouldn't but he just can't help it. Blame it on Mako's smug admission earlier, or the way an endless spectrum of emotion flicks across Korra's face, whatever it is, it spurs Tahno onward relentlessly.

"I can make you feel that way too," he says. "I did make you feel that way."

"No you didn't," Korra replies, finally finding her voice. "It's different with Mako."

"Is it? I'm quite good at what I do. Better than him, I'm sure."

"I bet you are. Mako told me about you, you know. He said… he said…"

"What did he say, _Uh_vatar?"

She's silent, and refuses to look at him. Tahno knows what's coming, knows exactly what Mako has told her, but he wants to – no, has to – hear it from her.

"Korra," Tahno asks again. "What did he say?"

"He…" She glances at him apologetically, before returning her focus to the floor. "He called you a whore. He said that people paid you to make them feel that way. He said that's why you live here. Someone paid you to… to… have sex with them."

Several beats of silence echo throughout his room.

"He's right," Tahno says quietly.

"But… you're a probender! You don't need to do that!"

"You should know Korra, you need money if you want to compete. Where do you think it came from?"

She stares at him, and he can see multitudes of questions in her eyes.

"I don't know why you're so surprised," he tells her dryly. "Your firebender did the same thing."

"Mako? No, he wouldn't do that."

Tahno sighs. "Then where did that money come from, I wonder?"

"You mean for the tournament?" she asks. He nods. "Asami gave it to us."

"Why?" Tahno approaches her slowly. "Does he love her, do you think? Does he tell her that even if she had nothing he would be there for her? Does he tell her that she's the only one for him?"

Korra's face flushes with embarrassment, and he sees her eyes start to glisten with unshed tears. He knows he hit a raw nerve, but the dynamic of this conversation, his pent-up aggression and frustration, remind him of a probending match, and he knows he can't stop until his opponent is out cold.

"Oh, _Uh_vatar," he sighs, his voice taking on the tone of a concerned friend. "Did he say the same things to you?"

"I—we kissed. Once." Korra's voice remains steady, but Tahno swears he sees a tear trickle down her face.

"Only once?"

Korra sniffs back tears, but she remains matter-of-fact. "He likes Asami… not me."

"Did you like it?" Tahno asks, and now he's only inches from her. He can see where several tears have made lines down her cheeks.

"Like what?" she asks.

"Kissing him."

Korra nods shamefacedly, still not willing to look Tahno in the eyes.

He bends down close to her ear. "Did you like the other night?" he whispers.

She pauses for a moment and looks around, as if expecting someone else to overhear her answer. "Yes."

Tahno was not entirely sure what answer he was expecting, but it certainly wasn't that. "You don't… you don't regret it?"

She shakes her head, and finally looks up at him, her eyes still wet and bloodshot. "I don't regret it."

Tahno brings his hand to her face, and uses his thumb to wipe away the damp trails of tears left on her cheeks. He leans closer and tilts his head. He's not exactly thinking straight, but he can't shake the desire to kiss her. But not like before, softly this time. And slowly.

Only, she doesn't let him. "But it doesn't mean anything to you does it?" she says, and she glares at him accusingly.

Tahno falters, and his hand drops from her face. "Korra…" he starts.

"You said that you do this all the time… for money," she says, cutting off whatever excuse he was about to make.

Tahno doesn't know what to say. So he tells the truth. "Yes."

"So what do you want from me?" she demands, staring him down with a look that was formerly reserved for her probending rivals.

_What do you want?_ The words reverberate in his head and he searches desperately for an answer, true or false, to give to the Avatar, to Korra.

But everything he wants is something she can't give him, so remains silent.

She takes his silence for an insult.

He doesn't blame her.

She opens her mouth, but instead of words, she emits a kind of choked sound, which she quickly swallows and ignores. She tries again and manages a curt, "Fine." Korra makes for the door, but pauses before exiting. She gives his room a cursory glance and for a moment it seems as though she's going to say something else. But she doesn't, and then she is gone.

Tahno collapses on the floor and stares at the door for a long, long time.

* * *

**A/N: ** Sorry it's taken so long for me to update! Thanks to all my reviewers and followers and everyone who's enjoyed the story thus far. I appreciate your support and I hope that you can take the time to review so I know exactly what you like (and what you don't). Thanks!


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